Retail Resolution time!

By now, I assume, you’ve made, and probably broken, your New Year’s resolution.  Come on...don’t lie to me...I know the game.  Hey, it’s alright.  You can trust me when I say you are not alone.  One of the hardest parts of the New Year’s resolution is coming up with the damn thing.  Of course there is the old standard which everyone has used at some point:  I resolve to lose ____ pounds in the new year.  That one always works out great, doesn’t it?  Then there are the other classic go-to's:  I resolve to get a new job, I resolve to save more money, I resolve to quit smoking, I resolve to call my parents at least once a week.  These are so popular but yet somehow have such a high failure rate.  The reason being is that most of these require pretty major changes to one’s everyday life.

I work in retail, as I mentioned in my first post, and I see a lot of people every day.  I also see a LOT of bad habits that retail shoppers have developed.  You shop in retail stores, there is pretty much no way around that.  You may be asking at this point, “Where are you going with this, Justin?”  Today is both of our lucky days.  I’m going to help you choose a very simple New Year’s resolution that you will be able to stick with and that will also enhance the life of every retail employee you come in contact with.  It’s a win-win situation!  Let’s get started...

RETAIL SHOPPERS’ NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION LIST:

1.  I resolve to hang up my phone when approaching the checkout counter:  There is nothing more rude than having a customer holding a conversation with their “bff” while you’re checking them out.  There are certain things that we need to ask and if you’re idly chatting away about what happened last night on Dancing With The Stars (actual conversation I overheard) we’re not able to give you the proper customer service.  I’ll actually talk to a customer as much as I possibly can and ask unnecessary questions if they won’t hang up their phone; It’s my little way of exacting revenge.

2.  I resolve to not pile EVERYTHING from my cart onto the counter at once:  If your merchandise is beginning to cascade off the counter and onto the floor or you look up and can’t see the RSP (register sales person) because there is an abstract sculpture of stuff blocking them, it’s time to wait until they’ve cleared a bit off the counter before adding more.  Not only will this help the RSP move faster and in turn get you out the door quicker, it will also help in reducing mistakes on your purchase.  The last thing you want to do is to hop back in line to get a refund on a piece of plastic that you got charged twice for.

3.  I resolve to not pitch a fit like a child when there is a hold up at one of the registers:  Waiting sucks; I agree with you.  But, if you’ve ever worked with a computer of any kind (and safe money says you have) you know it doesn’t always cooperate.  Systems can go down, machines can freeze, barcodes can fail to scan and force the RSP to input them manually, credit cards can create error messages that have to be resolved.  Odds are, the RSP is working as hard as they can to resolve (there’s our word of the day again!) the problem and get the operation moving again.  Just be patient or politely ask a passing associate if they could offer assistance to the struggling RSP.  If a problem occurs while it’s your turn at the register I’m sure you’d want it to be addressed and taken care of as thoroughly as possible.  Just remember that.  If it’s really taking a long time you can always call your “bff” and vent to them...just make sure to hang up when it’s your turn!

4.  I resolve not to yell at the RSP when they ask me for my phone number or some other piece of information:  Honestly, if you are that worried about someone stealing your identity you shouldn’t be out shopping in the first place.  In fact, I’m surprised you’ve left your place without wearing your aluminum foil hat.  You’re more likely to have sensitive information taken by some pickpocket, someone looking at your credit card as you pay, or someone listening in on your phone conversation (while you should be paying attention at the register) than by giving the RSP your phone number or zip code.  Honestly, most RSPs hear SO many phone numbers and zip codes they don’t remember the one you’ve just said.  Not to mention, more often than not, your name doesn’t even come up on their screen when you slide your credit card.  They have about as much idea of who you are as they have of how they ended up working in retail.  Don’t forget, you always have the power to politely tell them, “I’d rather not give that information out.”  I promise you they won’t care; they’re just going through the motions.  And, if they do give you attitude, you can simply remind them that you’re not the one bitter about your job.

5.  I resolve not to ask an employee, who is dressed in full company attire (i.e. shirt with logo, apron, headset, etc.), “Do you work here?”:  Yes, this happens and it’s a more common occurrence than you think.  It’s not like it takes that much for the employee to answer, “Yes I do,” but if you take the time to look at what they are wearing and still have to ask, I’d suggest knocking around the idea of wearing a helmet before going outside.

I could go on for a while with suggestions for retail resolutions but I’ll leave it at those five for now.  It gives you a good jumping off point.  The bottom line is put yourself in the position of the sales person.  If it would piss you off, it will piss them off and if you piss them off they’re not going to provide you with good customer service and that will piss you off and come January 2012 I’ll have to write another post about the same thing.  It’s a vicious cycle.  Anyway...if you decide to try one of my resolutions, awesome!  If you decide to stick with the one you thought up, good luck!  Either way, I hope you have a kick-ass 2011 and I look forward to talking with you more this year.

If you have a suggestion or an observation about something, anything, please e-mail it to me at ducttapebacon@gmail.com

Cheers,
- Justin