Two Snaps & A Rewind

COMING THIS DECEMBER:  A MOVIE YOU’VE ALREADY SEEN!!!!

There, I’ve just saved the movie industry millions, if not billions, of dollars on advertising.  They should thank me.  Honestly, I’ll be waiting for my check.  Well, why shouldn’t I get one?  I just did about as much work in fifteen seconds as most of the Hollywood execs. do in a week.  By now I’m sure you’ve figured out that I’m talking about the lack of ideas in Hollywood and I’m also sure that you feel the same way.

Hollywood used to be a place where the creative mind flourished, where great pieces of film were conceptualized and brought to life, and where no one told the Jews, “No.”  While that last part still holds pretty true the cold reality is that the big-wig, money hungry executives have just about run out of fresh, imaginative ideas.  Oh sure every once in a while we’ll see a gem wriggle it’s way through the cracks and shine itself brightly on the silver screen but the vast majority of what we’re feed is complete crap.

Take for example the hundreds of reboots (another word for remaking where you don’t give any acknowledgment to an existing movie of the same story, i.e. Hulk & The Incredible Hulk) that have speed past our eyes over the years, only to be pushed out of the way by the next one.  I group in, with the reboots, the unnecessary prequels/sequels that are dumped out for a quick buck as well.  In the next year or two alone, we are looking at over twenty of these types of movies.  Some of these titles will include:  Teen Age Mutant Ninja Turtles, An American Werewolf in London, The Blob, Child’s Play, Fantastic 4, Short Circuit, Dune, and Judge Dredd.  REALLY...JUDGE DREDD!  Do we really need to revisit this story?!  How much “better” can you make it?  And if you’ve never see Dune make sure you keep it that way; those of you who have seen it will back me up on that.

It was when I found out that they are going to be rebooting the Spider-Man franchise that I was pushed over the edge.  In case you’d forgotten, Spider-Man came out in 2002.  That’s eight years ago.  I’m sorry, but to reboot a movie, let alone an entire franchise, eight years after the original came out is ludicrous.  I say that there should be a fifteen year minimum time frame before you can touch a movie.  The reboot is going to be grittier, a la Christopher Nolan with Batman, focusing on a younger Peter Parker, age six to nine, and how he came to be the web-slinger.  The movie is slated to be released on July 3, 2012.  Honestly, I didn’t believe it before but I’m starting to think that 2012 might, in fact, be the “end of days.” 

I’m not saying that you can’t try a different spin on the same story but give us some time in between to digest the first effort and maybe get some variety in our mental stomachs.  As I said in my first blog, this is a time where creativity is blooming from all different parts of the country...the world.  I know there are some very talented writers in LA, in fact there may be too many and that could be the problem.  If that’s the case, then expand your searches.  I can think of a dozen very talented writers I know personally who have great ideas and would love a shot at bringing a completely new idea to the table.  But that will probably never happen for any of them because we are told to believe that recycling tired, used material is something that is safe and fun and entertaining.  Those of us who disagree, this is a call to arms.

Benjamin Bratt was recently in a movie called La Mission.  If you’ve not seen this movie you should make the time to do so.  It’s really a beautiful piece of cinematic art.  It was made by 5 Stick Films, Inc., Bratt’s new production company.  Along with his brother and their other business partner they started this company because they felt the same way about film as I do.  They were so surprised, even with Bratt’s name in Hollywood, how hard it was to get La Mission picked up and promoted by a movie house.  They decided to take matters into their own hands and take back the art that they both loved so dearly. 

I challenge you, like the Bratt brothers, to create something.  It doesn’t have to be an entire production company, however if it is let me know because I’d be perfect for your business.  Just pick something that you like to do and start creating, like I did with this blog.  I’m also in the works of putting together a sketch comedy troupe.  “Traditional art” in mainstream society seems to be going very comfortably down the corporate route but you have the power to affect what you consider art to you.  If you love music, write a song, or help promote an up and coming band.  If you love to draw, make a little collection of your work and find a space that you can showcase it.  It doesn’t have to be anything ground breaking, it just has to be something.

If you have a suggestion or an observation about something, anything, please e-mail it to me at ducttapebacon@gmail.com or feel free to post a comment.

Cheers,

- Justin

Candidates Should Take Their Mid-Terms Again

I hate politics.  I think you’ll agree with me in saying, regardless of if it went in your favor or not, “THANK GOD THE MID-TERM ELECTIONS ARE OVER!”  I try as hard as I can not to get too involved in politics; my reasons are twofold.  One, I don’t trust politicians further than I can throw them.  I don’t care how much one of them want’s to work for “the greater good,” there is no way for that to happen because our government is far too corrupt...that is another topic in and of itself.  Two, politics frustrates and bores me and I, there for, have no desire to know anymore than I absolutely have to about it.  Don’t get me wrong, I have my semi-educated opinions but that’s about as far as I take it.  I did, however, find this mid-term election quite interesting and not because of the topics that were futilely being debated.  Rather, the amount of advertising and campaigning that went into it is what hooked me.

It seemed that when a TV show went to commercial break the entire three minutes were filled with back-to-back campaign ads.  You may have gotten one Empire Carpet or KFC commercial squeezed in right before the show came back on but for the most part it was all smear ads.  Now, I understand that every time there’s an election there’re an unbelievable amount of commercials...I get that.  But each time another election cycles through, the ads seem to separate themselves more and more from informing us about what the candidate has done to make us want to vote him/her into office and focus more and more on what their opponent has done to make them unworthy to share the air you and I are breathing.  “Did you know that candidate John Smith didn’t go to his daughter’s fifth grade dance recital but thought it more important to attend a black tie gala in honor of his political party?  Bad father = Bad senator.”  Alright, that wasn’t actually an ad but it would have been a sweet one!  After all of this, I still haven’t gotten to the part that really chapped my ass.

The 2010 U.S. Mid-Term Elections were the most expensive to date totaling approximately $3.98 billion.  Again, 3.98 BILLION DOLLARS.

That’s right.  The “for the people” politicians raised and spent almost $4 billion to tell you why you shouldn’t elect the other guy/girl.  I know it’s a radical idea but how about putting that money into, oh, I don’t know, the struggling public school system?  The same one they promise to help fix.  Hold on, I don’t want to be greedy, maybe only use $1 billion.  Listen, if we keep cutting our kids’ art classes there won’t be anyone who knows how to make all those campaign graphics for the 2026 election!

There is only one person who I came out of this election respecting and that is Illinois Secretary of State, Jesse White.  The reason is simple; I saw one campaign ad for him, I saw it air only twice, and the content was completely about what he had done while in office. 

We need to demand more from our politicians.  They are elected into office to serve us, the people, yet they are completely fine with unnecessarily spending billions of dollars on campaigns to boast about how great they’ll be for us.

But, what do I know, I hate politics.

If you have a suggestion or an observation about something, anything, please e-mail it to me at ducttapebacon@gmail.com or feel free to post a comment.

Cheers,

- Justin

Too Dog-Gone Far

Let me preface this post by going on the record and saying that I love animals.  I’m a dog person at heart and will be getting one within the next year or two.  Also, I had bacon this morning for breakfast.  That having been said...

We’ve taken things a little bit too far in this country in regards to how we treat/pamper out pets.  What’s that?  You’d like an example?  Absolutely!  The other day I was eating outside at a restaurant and as I watched people walk by I saw a woman pushing a stroller.  When she got to where I was sitting I turned to look at what I assumed was her new baby.  My jaw hit the ground when I saw a DOG sitting in the seat.  She was taking her dog for a walk in a stroller.  A dog in a stroller.  I typed that point three times because that’s about how long it took me to really put my head around and process what I just saw.  I’m sorry, but when my dad told me to take the dog for a walk when I was younger I never once thought, “Gee, I wonder where my sister’s old stroller is?  I’m sure the dog would be more comfortable sitting down in a moving seat while I pushed it along.”  IT’S A DOG!  The whole point of taking it for a walk is to let it sniff things, explore, do it’s “business,” and to let it get some exercise.

It doesn’t just stop at dogs in strollers...oh no.  When I really stopped and thought about it I realized just how much people are doting over their pets these days.  Dressing their pets up in designer collars and clothes, taking them to pet beauty salons and getting their “hair” done or their nails painted (you can actually get a pet pedicure or as some people call it a “peticure”), buying them five star pet meals at pet restaurants, bringing them EVERYWHERE, carrying them around in pet carrier/purse hybrids, and even getting them their own homes.  Paris Hilton’s six dogs have a 300 sq. ft. dog mansion in Paris’s backyard with a price tag of $325,000.  Don’t believe me?  Google it.  It’s sick.

Do you remember when dogs used to be dogs?  When you used to take them out to the park without worrying if they were allergic to grass or if they’d be cold?  When you would feed them kibble for most of the week and treat them once in a while with a can of wet/soft food?  When dogs used to have nuts before everyone started chopping them off and they’d hump the couch?!  That was entertainment for the whole family! Do you remember when a dog was “man’s best friend” and not treated like an actual human baby?  Don’t get me wrong, I think we should respect our pets, love our pets, and treat them with kindness but, still remember that they are pets.  They’re animals.  They don’t need us.  They would be able to survive on their own just fine.  Instead of buying your dog that “peticure,” maybe donate that $100 to a charity?  Instead of buying your dog the high-end, organic, made from angus beef dog food that they only eat half of before it dries out and has to be thrown away, maybe buy some groceries and donate them to your local food bank.  Don’t forget that while it’s nice to look out for your pets it’s also nice to look out for your fellow human being.

If you have a suggestion or an observation about something, anything, please e-mail it to me at ducttapebacon@gmail.com or feel free to post a comment.

Cheers,

- Justin

A New Beginning

Have you ever felt like you were kicked in the nuts by your job?  I realize that’s a brash question but anyone who has felt slighted by their employer knows that’s the exact feeling you get in the pit of your stomach.  If you’re a woman I know this analogy isn’t exactly relatable but I’m sure my point isn’t lost. 

I’ve worked at the same retail company for four years now and for those four years have given everything I have to help better the business.  I’m trained to do every position necessary and usually find myself taking on multiple roles during the day.  I do the tasks I’m assigned and pride myself on doing them above expectation.  Bottom line, I consider myself, as most probably do (and most are probably accurate for doing so), a great employee.  During my annual review we came to the portion where the reviewing manager tells me what kind of a raise they feel I have earned.  Keep in mind no one, excluding management of course, received a raise for the past two years, no matter how well they performed.  I was informed that, to this company, I am worth 23¢ more than I was two years ago.

I was faced with a tough question.  What do you do when you’ve been told that for all your effort in helping to make money for a company they’re only grateful enough to give you 23¢ more an hour?  My answer was to start a blog.  The goal of this blog is not to trash the company and bring it down one customer at a time.  This is, in fact, the only time I ever plan on mentioning my current job.  The purpose of this blog is to inspire, both myself and you, the reader, to be creative.  Since the economy started dipping a couple years ago we have seen an influx, both on a local and national level, of new ideas and concepts, new ways of doing things, new businesses, etc.  I truly believe that this recession happened for a reason.  It helped to bring about a change that was needed in the way that we, the world, see and do everything.  It helped people to start finding their creativity again.  Helped people to start dreaming and taking chances again.

So, what is Duct Tape & Bacon all about?  Duct Tape is an amazing invention and I love it.  Bacon...well bacon might have to be discussed in a post all by itself.  Let’s just say that I have an almost unhealthy love of bacon.  Who doesn’t love bacon?!  Two amazing things helping to make the world better one piece at a time.  My posts will be about anything and everything. 

If you have a suggestion or an observation about something, anything, please e-mail it to me at ducttapebacon@gmail.com

Cheers,

- Justin